


love; an offer

by omfgdany



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Ash Lynx Lives, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:08:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25756381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/omfgdany/pseuds/omfgdany
Summary: “Ash? Do you...did you mean it?”“Mean what?”“Coming here, learning Japanese? You weren’t doing it just to,..make me feel better?”“I mean it, I always did, I always will...Eiji, I need to see you.” Ash had forgotten about Jessica, Max, and their son. He allowed himself to show his vulnerability to Eiji...tears welling up in his eyes.Eiji didn’t respond for a beat. It was maybe two seconds of silence, but it almost caused Ash to go into either a panic attack or murderous rage...he’ll decide later. “Okay,” Eiji eventually whispered. “Please...Ash, please.” He emphasized his ‘please’ “Take care of yourself before you even think of getting on any kind of plane, please, Ash, seriously, please get in better health.”“Okay! Okay! I will, Eiji.”“Promise me,”Ash smiled, and let himself just cry for a moment, “I promise, Eiji.”“Thank you.”
Relationships: Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji
Comments: 19
Kudos: 143





	1. prologue

**Author's Note:**

> hi! i will be honest and express to you, the reader that I am not 100% confident in my writing ability. i originally wanted to let this idea sizzle out because I was struggling to write it but the idea just wouldn't get out of my head so I finally sat down and wrote this.
> 
> it is just a simple short story of my fantasy of how Ash living would go...please let me know if you enjoy it! thank you for reading this! try not to be too critical but I would love feedback!

Danger…

Danger.

Danger!

Ash attempted to jolt awake, but the feeling of something heavy on top of him stopped him. His fears got the best of him and he attempted to pry his beyond tired eyes open. Fearing who would be this weight. 

White light is blinding behind his eyelids though, so instead, Ash listened as intensely as he could. As he listened, the weight began to lift a little. Not like a person getting off from him though, rather, weight that he had imagined there. 

Voices!

Voices?

Ash tried to open his eyes again, but he just...couldn’t. So again, he listened. Something was off, terribly off. He felt like he was underwater, but he could still breathe...and those who are talking, are above the water. 

The more he allowed himself to relax and just listen, the better he could make out the voices. No matter how hard he tried though, he couldn’t make out the words. Two men and a woman spoke. 

The woman is abrasive in her voice, while the men are a lot more relaxed. A sudden beeping sound scared Ash, he would have physically reacted if he wasn’t trapped inside his own unmovable body. 

“Aslan should be waking up any time now, no longer than a few days.” That voice belongs to a man, a man that Ash couldn’t recognize...that felt good. 

Wait a second. 

Aslan...waking up… a few days? 

He couldn’t make out the response, which was from the other man. Ash began to fight his unconsciousness. He demanded his body wake up now! No matter how hard he tried though, his body refused to corporate with him. 

Ash lied there, in his suffering for what felt like...forever. Ash tried not to let his mind go back...back to that place.

The more he lied there, the more his brain fucked with him. The clicking of cameras, the whispers, and grunts of adult men. Trapped in a bed, his eyes refusing to open. Ash wanted to sob, rather his body sobbed out of his control. Ash then began to feel the phantom pain of it...of the adult men. Touching him in ways a child should never be touched. 

Despite this, he knew which feelings were real and which weren’t. He could feel tears leaving his eyes and falling down the side of his face.

“Oh...Ash…” A woman’s voice pulled him out of it, he then began to feel something real. The real touch of a loving person, brushing his hair out of his face, and then a thumb whipping tears off from his face. “Max?”

Jessica and Max. Thats who is here. With him. For him. 

A part of Ash wanted to throw Jessica’s hands-off from him. Another part wanted the woman to hold him the way she holds Micheal. He knew which part of himself would win if he was able to move his limbs. 

Max’s voice got closer as he spoke, “What is it?”

“He’s crying.” Jessica sounded...heartbroken. Ash wanted to call it pity, he wanted to be angry, but she truly was feeling for him. 

Max had no answer, rather he placed his hand on Ash’s head. Ash has never liked the feeling of being touched, even if its small or loving. He would still touch people, little ones, a handshake, carrying or needing to be carried, little touches.

This felt almost nice though, a set of parents showing him love. Almost. 

A dark, angry part of him hated it though. Hated them. This part of his strong, very strong. It’s killed before, for reasons that no longer seem justified...even if others might say they are. 

Hatred is something Ash had to learn by the age of seven-years-old. He didn’t want to learn it, but he was taught it by force. And from then on, it was the only thing he was taught. Well...until a baby-faced Japanese boy asked to hold his gun. 

Eiji. His name echoed in the back of Ash’s mind at all times. From the moment he asked to hold his gun, that stupid gun. Eiji. 

For a while, Ash’s mind escaped the bad, the turned to the good. The good being Eiji. As this happened, what happened began to flood him. 

He is reminded almost exclusively of the feeling of being stabbed. Which hurt, it wasn’t the worst pain in the world, but it was pretty bad. Ash wanted to forget it, trying to just think of Eiji again. 

As he thought of the Japanese boy with dark chocolate eyes, he was reminded of the letter. The Letter. The one he wrote to, for Ash...his love ballad to Ash. Sadly, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t remember what the letter said. He’ll never forget how it made him feel though. 

It made him feel like jumping onto a plane heading to Japan and holding Eiji in his arms forever. He wanted, craved, Eiji. His touch, smell, voice, everything about him. Eiji changed Ash’s perspective on...everything.

Eiji did so much for him, so much, and never asked for any damn thing in return. Finally, though, he did ask for something...maybe he didn’t ask though. He made an offer. Eiji offered his love to Ash. Ash knew that the angry, hate-filled part of himself would reject that, reject anything good that ever came the blond-boys way. But the Ash that Eiji knew, wouldn’t reject love. How could he?

As human beings, we only want one thing from other human beings. Love. In all it’s different ways, phases, parts, types, cycles…

Eiji offered love, how could Ash refuse. 

Ash opened his eyes, the room around him dimly lit by a muted television. The blood in his veins felt like liquid metal holding him down in the hospital bed. Ash didn’t remember figuring out that he’s in a hospital...it was like he knew from the beginning. 

Glancing to his right, he saw Jessica, awake, her laptop on her lap and her fingers rapidly tying the keys. Like whatever she was writing was the most important thing in the world to her. Max was nowhere in sight. 

Ash knew that he wouldn’t be able to speak, so he tried to relax, looking back at the TV. It was a muted cartoon that Ash didn’t recognize...is Micheal with his parents? Is Micheal here? Ash’s spine tingled with panic. 

Ash knew that he was still in danger...someone out there had to be after him still, why would they bring their son around him? At any moment, something bad could happen. And Micheal could meet a fate that only Ash could imagine. 

Ash looked over at Jessica again, because she stopped typing and was staring at him. “The doctor said that talking to you will help wake you up.” She said quietly, “Max is better at it than I am though.” She smiled. “How about I turn the TV up for you?” She held up the remote and turned the volume up enough, just loud enough for Ash to hear it. 

The characters in the cartoon were talking about saving someone from some kind of villain. Normally Ash would be annoyed by the cartoon, but in this case...it was kind of comforting. It did help wake him up. 

“Jess…” He tried to croak out after about thirty minutes of watching the cartoon. 

“Yeah?”

Ash turned and looked over, there was no water in sight for him to drink. He tried to ask for some, but couldn’t get it out. 

Jessica smiled and nodded, putting her laptop down and quickly walking out of the room, when she entered again, she was holding a plastic, bendy straw in a shade of yellow, a small styrofoam cup, and large bottled water. 

When she put the straw to his lips, he drank the water from the cup so quickly, he worried about getting hiccups. Jessica put the cup down but didn’t refill it. “Slow down, hon. Your stomach will get upset if you drink too much.” 

Ash tried not to whine, a part of him wanted Jessica to be Eiji...knowing that Eiji would let him drink as much water as he wanted. 

“Mommy!” Ash hated that Micheal is here. Watching the young boy, he was in outer space-themed pajamas, his hair shorter than the last time Ash had seen him. Jessica crouched down to her son’s level to talk to him.

“Hey, buddy!” Max immediately noticed that Ash is somewhat awake. “How are you?”

Jessica smiled as she lifted her son into her arms, holding him protectively. “He’s awake-ish, I ugh, gave him water and he’s talking a little.” Jessica was distracted by her son, who was talking about the cartoon. 

“That’s good, it’s still really early in the morning...I’ll wait a bit before I get the doctor,” Max said to Ash, pushing his overgrown hair out of his face. “Are you feeling okay?”

Ash shrugged, not wanting to talk. “I…” He stopped, finding it easier to speak than before. “I’m kind of numb.” 

Max nodded, “Good to know the painkillers are doing their job. That kid got you good.” Max cleared his throat uncomfortably, “You flatlined for twenty seconds.” 

“Twenty? Jeez…” Ash turned and looked away from them, a window to his left. The sun hadn’t come up yet. 

Jessica had lied Micheal down on the sofa in the room, her coat laying over top of him. “You about made me flatline, I was so scared for you, Ash,” Jessica spoke generally, not really to him. Just kind of out loud. 

Ash rolled his eyes and looked at his hands, which were tingling with pin and needles. “What day is it?” 

“November 1st.” 

“Oh my god,” Ash turned wide-eyed at Max, “How long have I been out?”

“Yesterday was two weeks,” 

“Oh...was I um,” Ash decided not to ask, “Eiji left two weeks ago?” 

“Yeah...I’ve been in touch with him and Ibe, do you want to talk to them?” 

“Yes!” Ash’s sudden energy caused a sharp, stabbing pain in the wound. Causing Ash to groan and grab his side. 

Max chuckled at the kid, “Settle down, it’s about seven at night for them...hopefully, they answer.” Max pulled out his phone and began to poke at it. 

Ash felt anxiety begin to consume him...he feared that Eiji is upset with him. Ash couldn’t bare Eiji being mad at him, for any reason. Let along, Eiji doesn’t know how Ash feels, doesn’t know how he is.

The first line in the letter...it struck Ash like a stab to the gut.

“I'm worried to death because I haven't been able to see you doing well.”

Guilt also struck Ash. Eiji worried about, cared for, nurtured Ash...Loved him. Just for Ash to keep ending up here, in a hospital bed. Injured, sickly, more trauma on top of it all. 

The sound of the ringing to Ash’s ear made his stomach flip over, clucking the phone in his hands, pressed to the side of his head...it’s his lifeline. 

“Hello?” Ibe’s voice was so comforting it hurt. 

“Ibe! It’s Ash! Can I talk to Eiji!” He was louder than he meant to be, his vision was tunneled, focused exclusively on Eiji. Talking to him, hearing his voice, telling him everything he needed to say. 

“Sure, sure, stelled down,” Ibe chuckled, “Eiji! Phone for you!” 

Ash heard vague Japanese in the background, no Eiji’s voice though. There was some shuffling, and Ash began to hear his heartbeat in his ears. 

“Hello?” Eiji sounded so casual, he had no idea it was Ash...Ibe kept it from him, it would be a fun surprise...right?

“Hey,” Ash’s voice sounded like it came from outside himself like another person was speaking to him in his voice. 

“Aslan!” Eiji shouted, tones of worry and excitement in his voice. 

“Eiji…”

“Are you okay?” He was quick to ask, “I’ll come to see you as soon as possible.”

“Eiji, calm down. I’m okay. I am. I promise.”

“You were stabbed, you flatlined, you’ve been in a coma for...so long.” 

“Two weeks isn’t that long, is it?”

“It is!” Eiji rebounded, “It is when it’s you.” 

Ash felt his heartache, Eiji cares about him so much...and he can’t help but care back. That’s just Eiji though, you’d have to be...heartless to dislike Eiji, or stupid. Eiji makes everyone around him care for him just by existing as himself, who he is, in the rawest form. Ash is reminded of watching Shorter and Eiji together. What it felt like to watch them exist together, two people who were so unafraid of being who they are interact was...inspiring to Ash. Who has to hide his true self as often as he can show it. 

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t do that,” Eiji whispered, “I will come as soon as I can-”

“No, no...I should go to you. I should. I-I will.” Ash didn’t want to look at Max and Jessica, who were holding their breath as they heard his end of the conversation. 

Ash had decided to go with Eiji to Japan after he read the letter when he ran out of the library when he was stabbed by the punk-ass kid. And now, even now, he still wants to follow Eiji all the way to Japan. 

“Ash…”

“Eiji, are...how are you doing?”

“I took a shot to the torso pretty well, if I’m being honest.” 

“I’m glad.” 

“Me too, Ash.” Eiji sighed, Ash could picture him, just the way he looked before he was shot. The pink button-up and black jeans. His hair hadn’t been washed in a while, and despite being tired, he looked young and alive. “Ash? Do you...did you mean it?”

“Mean what?”

“Coming here, learning Japanese? You weren’t doing it just to,..make me feel better?”

“I mean it, I always did, I always will...Eiji, I need to see you.” Ash had forgotten about Jessica, Max, and their son. He allowed himself to show his vulnerability to Eiji...tears welling up in his eyes. 

Eiji didn’t respond for a beat. It was maybe two seconds of silence, but it almost caused Ash to go into either a panic attack or murderous rage...he’ll decide later. “Okay,” Eiji eventually whispered. “Please...Ash, please.” He emphasized his ‘please’ “Take care of yourself before you even think of getting on any kind of plane, please, Ash, seriously, please get in better health.” 

“Okay! Okay! I will, Eiji.”

“Promise me,”

Ash smiled, and let himself just cry for a moment, “I promise, Eiji.” 

“Thank you.”


	2. one month

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow...this is a quick update but i feel really inspired to write this, I can't promise that i will be updating this frequently, but i do know that i feel really inspired and that so far i am pretty proud of this story :)
> 
> i hope you enjoy! thank you for reading!

One month. One whole month. The doctor said that Ash can leave to Japan December fifth, and he wasn’t released from the hospital until November ninth. He’s in really poor health due to all the years of horrible things his body has been though. Imagine that. It makes Ash roll his eyes just thinking about it. 

Max could feel the annoyance radiating off from Ash as they pulled into the parking garage of the apartment Max and Jessica had been staying in. “Jess is at work, Micheal’s babysitter is here,” Max said to Ash, almost like it was a warning. 

Ash shrugged, “Okay?”

“Just letting you know before you scare the life out of a teenage girl, or before she scares you.”

Ash rolled his eyes as they approached the elevator. Ash noticed that Max’s shoulders were tensed, and he was anxiously checking his phone. Ash told himself to just ask what his issue is, but he didn’t. He just didn’t. 

The smell of the hallway the elevator opened up to was familiar. It smelled of cheap cleaning products and plastic. Ash paid close attention to the numbers on the doors of each apartment. There were only four doors, and the one to Max and Jessica’s was the furthest from the elevator. 

“Abby! I relieve you from your duties.” Max laughed. Ash took a long glance at the teenage girl, who was sitting at the dining table with Micheal. The babysitter, Abby, is a young black girl, about 14-15 years old, with long braids and flashy fashion sense. 

“Hi, daddy!” Micheal smiled. 

“Hey, Max.”

Ash slowly sat on the sofa, on the TV was a kids movie that was paused. Ash fell over, laying down on the sofa wanting to just fall back into a coma. Ash didn’t think he had fallen asleep, but when he opened his eyes again it was because he heard Jessica laughing. 

Looking over, Jessica and Max were in the kitchen, cooking and flirting. Micheal was sitting on the floor in front of him watching the TV, a baseball glove in his lap. 

“C’mon, Max...your son is right in front of you.” She giggled, Max was being very touchy with her. It almost made Ash gag. 

Ash groaned as he tried to roll over onto his side, “He’s awake.”

“Hey, hey, now, you should try and stay up. Dinner is almost done.” Max pulled away from Jessica and approached, “Need a drink?”

“Hard whiskey, please.” Ash chuckled, beginning to lift himself into a sitting position. 

“Yeah right,” Max rolled his eyes and smiled at the kid, helping him sit up and giving him a water bottle that had been sitting on the table near Ash. Max watched the blond boy down about half the water bottle. “Doc said you’re dehydrated, you need to be drinking a lot more water than you do.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Ash responded with an annoyed tone. 

Dinner was quiet for Ash, he stayed on the sofa while the family ate at the table. He didn’t care, watching the NEWS. The angrier part of him didn’t like it though, making him feel like he was the family dog who’s not allowed to eat at the table. 

Jessica put Micheal to bed right after dinner, then she went into hers and Max’s shared office to do work. Max, fell onto the couch with a beer in his hand next to Ash. He handed Ash a freshwater bottle and focused on the NEWS. 

Ash was curious as to why Max was sitting with him. That angry, sinister part of him was being particularly naggy. Ash knew what these thoughts are, why they happen, the source of them...Anxiety. Ash doesn’t like that though, the idea, concept of him having anxiety is something that Ash does not like. 

For a list of reasons, that is. Anxiety is a weakness, isn’t it? Like, logically, anxiety makes sense. It’s instinct, but when it’s overactive, it’s a weakness. It causes unnecessary worry and fear. That might be justified. 

But...his anxiety is telling Ash that Max will hurt him, do something to him, ask for something in return, or a favor of some kind. And that is just ridiculous. 

“Ash? You think any harder you’re gonna hurt yourself.” Max laughed. 

Ash glanced at him and wanted to be snarky right back, but he just didn’t seem to have the energy. “I’m not thinking about anything.”

“No? You look real irritated over there.”

“Maybe I am.”

“Why? Eiji?”

Ash sighed, telling Max he was right. 

Max pulled his phone out and looked at it, “It’s about seen in the morning over there, I can try to call and see if I get an answer…” 

“It’s okay, we don’t need to bother them.” 

“Ash, the only time you’ve smiled all week was when you were talking to Eiji.” 

Ash rolled his eyes and sank into the sofa, “Whatever.”

“You’re so moody these days.” Max chuckled and rolled his eyes, putting the phone to his ear.

Ash’s anxiety still prevailed inside his head, though he tried to hide it better now. He wondered about Cain and Sing...what are they doing? Are they doing okay? Do they know that he’s alive? Does Yut-Lung know he’s alive? Does Blanca? Rather...who doesn’t know he’s alive. 

There are only seven people he can think of who know for a fact that he’s alive. And one of them is a six-year-old boy, and another is that boys babysitter who doesn’t even know Ash’s name. 

“Hey? Did I wake you?” Max put his hand on the back of his head. “Ash was just wondering if he could talk to Eiji?”

A part of Ash felt like a little kid asking his parent to call his friend’s parents so he can talk to his friend. This was something that Ash only got to two a handful of times when he was a little boy. After what happened with Bluebeard Ash isolated himself from his childhood friends. Not deliberately...rather naturally. 

Which is common in victims of abuse. Abuse of all varieties. 

“Here you go,” Max held out the phone to Ash, who took it at the speed of light. 

“Hello?” Ash’s voice is quiet and horse. 

“Hey, Aslan.” Eiji was smiling, you could hear it in his voice. 

“How are you?” Ash breathed out, a sigh of relief. Which is exactly what Eiji is to Ash, a sigh of relief. 

“I’m pretty good, how are you?”

“Better,” Ash watched closely as Max stood up and walked into the office, closing the door behind him. Leaving As by himself. “I’ve just been so...meh.”

“Numb?”

“Yeah.”

They fell silent. 

“Ash?”

“Yeah?”

“Just um...it’s nice knowing that you’re there.”

“I can’t wait this long, Eiji.”

“Neither can I, but we can try.” 

“I just hate it. I hate everything right now.”

“Ash,”

“I’m just struggling, with everything. I feel off, or wrong...there’s no danger around the corner. I’m not being charged for murder, destruction of property, nothing!” Ash was honestly flabbergasted. 

Eiji chuckled, “It’s because they gave you a plea deal, without even offering it...they just gave it to you. Which I don’t know if that’s entirely legal in the states.” 

“A plea deal?” 

“For the um...video and pictures you were able to hand over to them.”

“Oh…” 

Eiji sighed, “Aslan…”

“I’m okay, Eiji. I promise.”

“You’re so quick to say it now.”

Ash smiled and chuckled. “You seem to like it when I say it.” 

“That is true…” Eiji’s voice is cute and watery like he’s being flirtatious. 

Wait? Ash froze in time for a moment, looking back at that exchange. Was that...are he and Eiji flirting? 

“Ash?”

“Yeah?”

“Have you ever used Skype?”

“Not really.”

“Well, if you can get a phone or laptop with a camera, we can Skype. That will probably make it easier for us to...talk like this.” 

“Anything to talk to you.”

“Anything?” Eiji giggled, implying something that didn’t need to be implied. He was being playful though, nothing sinister behind it. Ash could tell. 

Ash smiled, “You know what I mean.”

“I know, I just liked the way you said it.” 

~

Jessica arrived home with a laptop box in her hand. It was cardboard colored, with a blacked-out logo on it. Ash smiled weakly as she smiled at him. “Here you go, it’s kinda cheap, but its what you asked for.”

“I don’t care about how expensive it is,” Ash said as he began to unpackage the laptop. 

Jessica mentioned something to Ash about leaving in an hour to pick up Micheal from somewhere as Ash calculated the time for Eiji. It would be about two in the morning over there. 

Ash sighed, knowing that Eiji is probably not awake. On top of that, Max isn’t here to give Ash his phone so he can call Eiji, so Eiji can tell him what to do. 

So Ash falls bored again, plugging the laptop in and leaving it to just sit on the table next to the sofa. Ash is physically capable of doing quite a bit, he can walk around, shower, eat, but that doesn’t mean his mind isn’t getting the best of him right now. 

As has no reason to stay on high alert anymore, but he is. He had to learn the hard way to not let his guard down. He doesn’t know who still wants him dead, Yut-Lung comes to mind. 

Ash knew that going to Japan is in reality, a good and bad idea. He could be bringing danger right to Eiji, or he’s getting away from all the bad things that have followed him for eighteen years. From the moment he was born, things have been bad.

His mother abandoned him, his father pawned him off, his brother left, he was first victimized at seven-years-old, he was kidnapped, sex-trafficked, ‘favored’ by a Mafia Don. He gets a headache just thinking about it all. 

Boredom is like the uncanny valley of emotions. Because it’s so easy to be bored, and it’s so easy to not be bored. But at this moment, Ash is bored. Bored because everything there is to do is something Ash doesn’t want to do. 

Watching TV is just as boring as not watching TV. Max provided him with books he’s read a hundred times before. The laptop next to him seems useless. Max had decided it would be best not to get Ash a phone or anything because he can just buy one when he goes to Japan. Ash knew that Max meant, “I’m not gonna allow you to contact anyone.”

But whatever. It’s not like Ash cares. The only thing Ash cares about is...what’s gonna happen with this month ends. He’ll be in Japan. With Eiji. Starting his life anew. 

What was that about anxiety?

“Ash, you need any pain meds or anything?” Jessica asked, approaching with a fresh water-bottle for him. 

“I’m good,” Ash replied instinctually.

Jessica watched as Ash drank his water. “Do you want to walk with me to pick Micheal up?” 

“Where?” 

Jessica smiled and gestured for him to come with her, “He’s at school, it’s a five-minute walk there. Just a little walk with me?” 

Ash sighed, not exactly sure why she’s being so persuasive. Ash grabbed his red jacket and followed Jessica out the door. The two of them stayed in silence as they exited the apartment building to the outside world that Ash hadn’t seen in what felt like years. 

It was a sunny day for November in New York, normally it’s snowed three feet by now. Ash had a quiet thought about climate change before Jessica caught his attention, she put her fingers to her face and began to anxiously bite her nails. 

Ash paid it no mind, but he didn’t take her for the type to bite her nails, or someone to have anxiety. Then he was reminded of Foxx...and what Jessica asked. 

“Are you okay?”

“Huh?”

“You’re biting your nails, you seem nervous.”

Jessica’s eyes softened at Ash. “I am, I don’t like walking around this city. It’s why I made you walk with me. That, and you need to get some fresh air.” 

Ash bit his lip and glanced around, there weren’t very many people around, every so often high school-aged teenagers would walk by. “Six months...huh?”

“What? Oh, oh...yeah. I mean, I was um, I struggled.” Jessica didn’t look at him, despite wanting to. “It’s strange, because sometimes, it’s all I can think about, and other times it’s like I forgot it happened.” 

Ash is tense, he didn’t want to talk about this. He didn’t. It’s not important, it doesn’t matter, the past is in the past. 

“I admire you, in a sense. You seem so stoic and strong. You’re a hero among the boys who have to fight to survive on these streets. But I have a feeling they don’t know what I know.”

“I think some of them have an idea,” Ash didn’t know why he answered, he didn’t need to. 

Jessica sighed, but said nothing for a while, “Ash, do you-” She cleared her throat, “Do you ever want to talk about it?” That’s a good question, Jessica. 

Ash fell quiet, mainly out of surprise. He had never been asked a question like that. No one ever really asked what he wants, not like this. He’s always been told what to do or had to tell others what to do. The question also raised a question. 

Does Ash want to talk about it? He knew that was the question itself...but it’s so much more than that. Can he talk it? Is he physically capable of doing so? For so long he’s told himself that it’s his secret to keep, and only tell people when given no other choice. It’s a secret that doesn’t follow the rules of a secret. Because in reality...anyone could know if they wanted to. 

“I-I…” Ash’s tongue felt disconnected from his body as he tried to answer. 

Jessica reached out and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, the hand of a mother. Giving a light squeeze of reassurance and smiling somberly at the boy. “You don’t have to answer. If you don’t want to.” 

Want. She keeps saying that word. 

~

Ash bounced his leg as he began to set up Skype with the instructions that Eiji sent. When it was set up, he texted Eiji on Max’s phone, telling him he was pretty sure he was ready. Max watched from the dining table, where he was coloring with Micheal. Jessica was in the kitchen, making everyone an early dinner. 

Ash glanced at the clock, it’s 6 PM on the dot. So it’s 7 AM in Japan, Ash knows Eiji is awake though. Mainly because Eiji admitted that he is still on New York time. 

The ring tone of the Skype annoyed Ash as he pressed on the green accept button. There were a few seconds of lag. 

“Aslan!” The way Eiji says Aslan in his accent is the cutest thing Ash has ever witnessed. 

“Hi,” Ash replied quietly, looking up at everyone in the room, who was ignoring him. 

Eiji was in a dark room that didn’t look how Ash had thought it would. It was pretty minimal, with neutral colors and just a bed insight with a window over it. Ash couldn’t make out what was outside the window too well other than the leaves of a tree. 

“How are you?” Ash was looking at himself in the corner, he looked okay. Not perfect, but okay. 

“I’m feeling better, not as tired as I’ve been. How are you?”

“I’m doing well. I’m staying with my parents now.” 

“Oh? How are they.”

“It’s not important,” Eiji waved his hand, Eiji noticed that he was in a shirt that Ash had seen him in before. His hair was also fluffier than the last time Ash saw him, a bit longer too. “How are Max and Jessica.”

Ash threw his eyes up to look at them, they weren’t paying attention to Ash and Eiji even a little. Trying to give them a little bit of privacy...which Ash appreciated more than he would ever show. “They’re good, Micheal is good too.” 

Eiji smiled, “I’m counting the days.”

“Only fifteen to go,” Ash responded assuring Eiji that they were both counting the days. “We’re somehow halfway there…”

Eiji let out a sound that was both a chuckle and a sigh, pushing his hair out of his eyes. “It moved so quickly and so slowly. I feel like I’ve been waiting for my entire life, but in perspective, my entire life has moved so quickly.”

Ash tried not to think too deeply about what Eiji had said, given that is was pretty philosophical. “I understand,” Ash finally mumbled out after a few seconds of sitting in silence. Ash was surprised when Jessica put a dinner plate next to him on the coffee table, a sweet smile on her face. 

“Thank you,”

“Hi, Eiji!” 

“Oh, hi Jessica!” 

Ash and Eiji talked late into the night. They talked about things that a normal pair of boys would talk about, or at least what Ash thought was normal. They ranged from topics about childhood toys they liked, like the GameBoy. Eiji talks for a while about his love for Pokemon when he was young, while Ash never got that into them. That had blown Eiji’s mind. Maybe just a little bit of culture shock there. 

“It’s midnight,” Ash pointed out. 

“How is your sleep schedule?”

“Not good, I’ll probably sleep after we get off.”

Ash smiled, feeling like he was blushing. Something he never knew what it felt like until he met Eiji. His ears and cheeks grow a little warm and pink-ish. Eiji noticed but didn’t say anything. Knowing how Ash would react if you pointed out he was blushing, he might blow a gasket. 

“Should we go to bed?” Ash asked, looking away from the screen at his hands. 

“We don’t have to. Are you tired?”

“Not really...I just want to keep talking.”

Eiji smiled, “Ash?”

“Huh?”

“Look at me?” Ash looked up a tired look on his face. “You’re tired, Ash. We can go to sleep, tomorrow we can talk as much as you’d like.” 

Ash whined a little, “C’mon, Big Bro,”

“Will you at least lay down?”

Ash didn’t realize it until he woke up to his dead laptop, but Eiji had coaxed him into going to bed, having him lay down with a pillow and blanket...It was nice though. Eiji more or less had talked Ash to sleep, talking about what it’s like to go to school in Japan. His voice was calming and assuring. 

Ash had grown accustomed to sleeping in the same proximity as Eiji, it made him feel at peace. It was nice knowing that Eiji was right there, for him to protect...and a part of him knew that he was able to find comfort in Eiji. If he had a nightmare of any kind, Eiji was only a few feet away. 

Ash couldn’t wait to have that again.


	3. airplanes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is honestly just a lot of slow-burn rambling. i was doing my best to characterize ash the best way I could, I don't really think I did the best I could have done, but I tried! 
> 
> let me know if you enjoy! the next chapter should be up in about 24 hours or less :)

Max squeezed extra tight as he hugged Ash. Standing in the brightly lit airport. Ash was a little surprised when he noticed that Jessica was tearing up. Despite not liking being touched, Ash did allow both of them to hug him as much as they needed to. He didn’t love it, but he didn’t despise it either. Micheal was in a particularly whiny mood this morning, but he said a sweet goodbye to Ash. 

“Goodbye, son.” Max had whispered before Ash went where the rest of the family could not go. Ash just smiled at Max, nodding a little. But when he turned away, he allowed tears to prick his eyes. He knew it was dumb, getting emotional over it...but he just couldn’t help himself. 

Boarding the plane was a bit of a blur. It’s 11 AM in New York, he’ll be landing in Japan at around noonish their time. Which was a bit strange to think about, he was hoping that he would sleep through most of the plane ride. Ash hadn’t been on a big plane in a context like this, so he’s not entirely sure how he does on a long plane ride. 

Max had given him an old iPod, in which he downloaded music ‘he thought Ash would like’ that made Ash roll his eyes. What music is it that Ash would like, exactly? Gangster rap? Ash chuckled to himself as he began to scroll through the music on the iPod.

As he did this he noticed a lot of different songs, from Snoop Dog to Fall Out Boy. Ash found that when Max said that, he didn’t mean it like how Ash took it. What Max was saying is that he put music on there that he would want Ash to listen to, music for a normal eighteen-year-old boy. 

Ash put his headphone into his ears and turned to music on, it wasn’t very loud, but that’s not really why he’s listening to it. Any sound is better than silence, Ash had decided. Silence is worst than death, it’s of the devil. 

If you allow yourself to just sit in silence, you’re left alone with yourself, and nothing else. Thoughts that run through your brain like a fire in a dry field. Ash didn’t want to imagine what thirteen hours of silence would be like, he’d lose his damn mind more than he already has. 

Despite listening to music, Ash couldn’t help but let his mind wander...mainly to Eiji, but mostly the bad things that happened to Eiji...because of Ash. 

Having to hold a gun in the first place...Ash had to put a gun in his hands, and demand he protects himself. If he never did any of that... if he had made Eiji go home that day, Eiji would have never been involved in any of this. Never would have had to witness Ash at his worst, or what happened to Shorter and Skip, he would have never been shot or kidnapped...kidnapped. 

Eiji never told Ash what happened when he was in the hands of Golzine. Ash hoped that’s because nothing of significance happened that Ash didn’t witness...but Ash isn’t stupid. Ash felt rage suddenly flair up in his body as he continued to think about it. 

Ash let out a sigh and looked at his watch, only an hour and a half have passed and all he’s been sitting here thinking about is all the bad things that have happened to Eiji because of him. Because of him. 

Those three words seem to ring in his ears. Like a gunshot. 

“Excuse me? Are you interested in a snack of any kind?” A young man in uniform asked, pushing a cart through the aisle. 

Ash glanced at the cart, “Do you have any water?” 

“Yup.” The young man is attractive, with fluffy ginger hair and bright blue eyes. Ash’s mind went in three different directions as he watched the young man with no nametag insight. 

He could be a model.

Dino would have loved him. 

Who gives a shit about him. 

Ash wanted to swallow his tongue as the boy handed him a large SmartWater. “Enjoy.” The ginger-haired boy smiled. 

Ash just smiled back and nodded, worried about what he would say if he opened his mouth to speak. Watching the young man walk away, Ash turned his music up a little bit and grabbed the hood of his sweatshirt to pull it over himself. 

Ash figured he got lucky, they had bought his ticket the day he got out of the hospital. A window seat, but by the time the plane had taken off, the middle seat and aisle seat of his row were never taken up. Ash was pretty grateful for that. 

It was a bit of a shock when Ash fluttered his eyes open again, and everyone around him was asleep. He had fallen asleep, not intentionally, but he was grateful for it. Checking the time, he figured he was sleeping for about five to six hours, and they were about nine hours into the plane ride. 

Which left them with about four hours to go. Thank god. 

To Ash’s demise, the iPod had died hours ago, given that he left it playing while he slept. So he shoved it into his sweatshirt pocket and rubbed his eyes. Glancing around, he noticed the bathroom and quickly made his way to it. 

Ash relieved himself and began to wash his hands in the sink when he noticed himself in the mirror...he felt like he had never seen himself before. 

Ash’s hair is a lot longer than he’s used to, tucked behind his ears so it’s not in his face. The dark circles under his Jade eyes have faded quite a bit, given that he’s slept more in this last month than he has in his entire life. His face is also a little rounder, he’s also gained about five-ten pounds. Which Ash isn’t exactly fond of, but there’s also nothing he can do about it just yet. His doctor was very persistent about Ash taking things easy, and the only reason he allowed Ash to go to Japan at all is that he knew that Ash would take things easier in Japan. 

Planes smell weird, Ash decided as he sat back in his seat, rummaging through his carry on bag, searching for something to do. He could watch a free movie on the screen in front of him, a documentary or an action movie...maybe a rom-com. 

He smiled at that thought. 

Ash opted for taking this opportunity of silence on the plane to read a book he has bought at the airport. It’s about Japan, their culture, religion, society, language, basically everything Ash wanted to gain knowledge on. The concept of him accidentally being disrespectful to Japan and it’s people scared Ash, he would feel so guilty, so he wanted to do everything in his power to avoid that. 

He was fully aware that Eiji would teach him everything he needed to know, but Ash is perfectly capable of learning on his own. So if he doesn’t have to make Eiji teach him, he won’t. It’s not Eiji’s job, Eiji’s just nice enough to teach the silly American.

Silly American. That thought also made Ash smile. 

The book is very interesting to Ash, it was made for tourists, but that doesn’t dilute the good information in it. The thing that Ash found the most interesting is that it openly explains what Japanese people think of American’s coming to Japan. Some don’t mind, others hate it, but a lot of them have a more complicated opinion. 

The book explains that a lot of Japanese people are happy to welcome tourists to their lifestyle and culture, but the issue is with tourists rejecting the kindness of Japanese people, treating them poorly, or like they’re in-human. 

Ash found himself thinking a lot more about this, he sympathizes with the people who felt these things. He knows what it feels like to be treated as lesser because of one thing or another. Obviously, Ash had never experienced racism, but he’s witnessed it. 

He wanted to ask Eiji about it. Did Eiji experience any racism in his lifetime? Did he experience it while he was in America for that short period? 

When Ash finished reading the book and thinking about things he’d never really thought about before, he found that there were only two hours left in the plane ride. 

Ash sat there for a moment, wondering where the time went...but it’s not that difficult to figure out. He has spent this entire thirteen-hour plane ride avoiding thinking in silence. Ash has been avoiding his thoughts like he avoids the police. There’s a lot of reasons why he didn’t want to get involved with his river of thoughts, mainly because he didn’t feel like thinking about his trauma in a plane thats thousands of miles in the sky. But as long the fact that he doesn’t want to sit there anxiously waiting for Eiji. 

If he allowed himself to just sit here and think about Eiji he’s going to snap. Snap. It feels unreal that he is a mere two hours away from Eiji, from just being near him. Of course, a part of him wanted to hold Eiji and never let go...but another part knew that that might not be a possibility. 

He wants to hold Eiji and be held. What Ash craves with and from Eiji...Eiji might not want to return. Which fine! That’s fine! His letter implies that is what he wants...but it also doesn’t. 

The Letter. Ash finally asked about it two days before he was to leave to Japan, Max casually responded with, “Oh, it’s with your stuff.”

“My stuff?” Ash was confused, he doesn’t have ‘stuff’. 

“Everything that was found with you at the library and some of the stuff that was in your hideouts that I had some of your buddies give to me.” 

Ash decided not to ask any more questions. Max and Jessica were the ones who packed Ash’s things for Japan. Everything fit into one suitcase and his carry on bag. Clothing, laptop, letter, a few books, his glasses. That was it. Ash doesn’t own anything. It’s probably obvious, but he didn’t bring his gun with him on the plane. Mainly because its illegal, and Ash isn’t interested in dealing with the police right now, but also because...that’s what Eiji would want. 

Eiji wanted desperately for Ash to toss the gun. So Ash did, he tossed the gun, and he’ll never pick it back up. Not unless he has to, which hopefully--for the love of god--hopefully, he never will. 

The feeling of the plane landing pulled Ash out of thinking river.


	4. japan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a long one! so prepare yourselves! in my mind this chapter takes place over about a 2-3 month period, just for a little context.
> 
> i really hope you enjoy! thank you for reading!
> 
> i am going to be really busy these next couple of days so I make no promises when the next chapter will be up but I can promise that I will be in the next couple of days :) <3

Eiji smells like the food he would make for Ash. Which Ash had grown to like, he misses it nowadays. Ibe found it strange, watching the two of them approach each other. No words were exchanged for a moment, they just stood and stared at each other. 

Slowly though, Eiji reached his arms around for Ash to come into. Ash fell into Eiji, hiding his face in the shoulder of the shorter boy. Ibe smiled, patiently waiting for them to part. Their hug was a slow ten seconds before Ash pulled away. Putting on his angry, stoic expression. It’s like he wants to pretend he doesn’t even like Eiji. But they all know that he likes Eiji, literally so fucking much. 

“Are you tired?” Eiji asked. Of course, so quick to want to tend to Ash’s needs. It’s like it’s in his instinct. 

“No, no, I slept quite a bit on the plane.” 

Ibe smiled to himself...it’s like they were never apart. Nothing dramatic or climatic for them, simple and sweet is all these two will ever need between them. They’re past the theatrics of young love. Now they just want to exist with each other in ways they couldn’t before. 

“Hungry?” Eiji reached out to straighten out Ash’s sweatshirt. 

“Yeah,” 

Eiji looked up at Ibe, who smiled at him. Ibe agreed to take them to eat before he would drop them off at the apartment he got for them. Ibe paid the deposit and the first couple of months of rent, so ensure that the boys would have the time they need before they would have to worry about the responsibilities of adulthood on their own. 

Ibe knew that the two boys would be quiet for the most part. On the drive to the restaurant Eiji had selected, Ash would ask some questions about Japan and Eiji would answer with a soft voice. Ibe could tell that the boys wanted to be touchier than they were being, but they valued privacy more than their need to be handsy. 

Eiji and Ibe ordered food, Eiji ordered for Ash, knowing what he would like. “You didn’t get me gross stuff, did you?” Ash asked, poking Eiji’s side playfully as they waited for their food. 

“No, no, I got you fatty greasy food fit for an American stomach.” 

Ash chuckled and rolled his eyes. 

The three men ate in silence, Ash ate his food quickly. Eiji himself wasn’t very hungry, so he didn’t eat much of his food, but he did sneakily get Ash to eat more food by offering him to try stuff from Eiji’s plate. Ibe noticed and thought it was clever. 

When they were dropped off at the apartment they were meant to live in together...together for real...it was hitting the two of them pretty hard. Anxiety shows itself in weird ways, like nausea, shaking hands, heartburn, headaches, or the worst of all, uncontrollable intrusive thoughts. 

Eiji locked the apartment door behind them, Ash put his backpack and suitcase down and looked around. It’s small, neutral colors, scarcely decorated. “It’s a two-bedroom, I actually haven’t been here yet so, chose whichever room you want.” Eiji carried a plastic grocery bag to the kitchen and began to put what was in the bag away. 

Ash entered the bedroom that was to his right, putting the suitcase and backpack in there. He also pulled his sweatshirt off and threw it onto the made bed. 

“Ash?”

“Yeah?”

“Nothing you’ve just been standing in here for a while, are you okay?” Was he really? Ash had thought he had only been standing there for a few seconds?” 

“Yeah, I guess I’m just getting tired.”

Eiji had fixed his sleep schedule about a week ago, and how Ash would have to try and get his in order. Ash turned to Eiji and just stared at him, Eiji was looking right back at him. After a beat of them just staring at each other, Eiji cracked a smile, “Aslan.” 

“Eiji.” 

~

After about three days of being in the apartment together, Ash and Eiji had fallen into a routine. Eiji wakes up about an hour to two hours before Ash and does the chores that need to be done and job hunts online. 

Eiji rubbed his face as he dug through his and Ash’s dirty laundry, “Ash?”

Ash is laying face down on the sofa, not liking that Eiji is forcing him to get up at this time as a means to fix his sleep schedule, “Yeah?” 

“Are the clothing you wearing dirty?”

“I only had like four outfits to wear, I don’t exactly own a lot.” 

Ash regretted being honest, because the next morning, Eiji made Ash get up early with him and get ready to go shopping. Eiji made Ash take a shower so he could wash his clothing. Now, Ash standing in a clothing store, watching Eiji go from clothing rack to clothing rack, picking out Japanese streetwear he would think Ash would look good in. 

Ash noticed a pattern of reds and whites, two colors Ash thought he looked pretty good in. So he’s not too upset. 

“You’re such a wife.”

“What?” Eiji snapped, looking at Ash with a playful look in his eyes. 

“You wash my clothes, clean up after me, feed me, buy me clothes, you’re acting like my wife.”

Eiji rolled his eyes and playfully hit Ash’s arm, “I only do it because you won’t do it for yourself.”

“That’s true,” 

The only thing that Ash couldn’t get himself to grasp is the currency of Japan, which is odd. Ash is very intelligent, but he struggled with mentally converting American currency to Japanese currency. Maybe that’s his problem, he shouldn’t try to convert them, he should just try to separate them in his head. 

Ash was intrigued by how Eiji dressed. In blues, purples, and blacks. In jackets over simple tanktops, Eiji seemed drawn to sunglasses, even when they’re not needed. Skinny jeans and sneakers. Ash likes his sense of fashion and hopes that it bleeds through into how he plans on dressing Ash. 

There was one thing Ash didn’t like about this though, Eiji desperately wanted Ash to give him a mini-fashion show to show off how he looks in the clothing before they buy it. Ash finds this unnecessary and a waste of time. 

“C’mon Ash, please, it’ll be fun!”

“No it won’t, changing in and out of clothes is such a waste.” Ash and Eiji stood in the middle of the story, quietly bickering in English. 

Eiji softened his eyes, making him appear cuter, hoping that would persuade Ash. “Please?”

“I’ll try on a few things if you’re worried they won’t fit.” 

They came to an agreement that Ash would try on three outfits of Eiji’s choice. This made Eiji happy, which made Ash’s heart flutter a little bit. 

~

Ash sat on his bed, looking at the letter, which is folded up and placed neatly into a ziplock baggie. Ash wanted to read it again, mainly because he’s worried he’s remembering it wrong...but at the same time. He doesn’t need to read it again, Eiji is right here. 

Both of them thought that being together again would be different, but they’re like how things were, but without the fear of death around every corner. Now they just exist with each other without the stress...but they both crave more, they’re just unaware that they want the same thing. 

Ash was never one to...fantasize about other people, not romantically or sexually anyway. Defiantly not sexually, and that will probably never happen. But at night, when he is trying to sleep, knowing that Eiji is just two doors away...Ash’s mind wanders out of his control. 

Ash’s fantasy consists of being held. Similar to the night he opened up to Eiji...when he told Eiji that he needs him, not forever, but at that moment, he needed him. Ash doesn’t want to believe that he still needs Eiji, but he does. 

Ash desperately lays in his bed at night and hopes that Eiji will sneak in there and lay with him, and just holds him. During the day, when they’re just being together, Ash thinks about being needy and touchy with Eiji, but he doesn’t want to upset Eiji in any way. 

That’s what brings him back to The Letter...what does Eiji want? 

~

Ash scrolled through the NEWS, his new phone still felt weird in his hand. Eiji had to set it up for him, which was annoying. But Ash doesn’t mind it too much, the more time he spends with Eiji the more codependent he is becoming. 

“Aslan?”

“Huh?”

“You need a haircut,” Eiji was holding a pair of scissors and a towel. Ash smiled and nodded in agreement, allowing Eiji to put the towel around Ash’s shoulders and he began to cut his hair. “You want it like how you had it?”

“Maybe a little shorter.”

Eiji hummed and nodded. 

Ash loves this, he lives for this. Eiji and him in domestic bliss. Eiji gently touching him as he cut his hair, making little sounds of happiness as Ash allowed Eiji to hold a pair of scissors to his head. 

“Aslan?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you have nightmares here?”

Ash didn’t want to answer, “Yeah, sometimes. I didn’t last night.” 

“Do you feel safe here?”

“Yeah.” 

Eiji nodded, “Good, good, I’m glad.” 

It was like time completely slowed down as Ash noticed that Eiji was leaning down, looking at him with loving eyes. The feeling of Eiji’s lips on Ash’s cheek caused chills to climb his spine and all the air in his body to exit. 

Eiji just went back to cutting Ash’s hair, like he didn’t just try to kill the blond with a kiss to the cheek. That would be one way to assassinate Ash, just have Eiji show him love and affection and Ash will just spontaneously combust. 

“Aslan?”

“You keep calling me that.”

“I like calling you that, do you want me to stop?”

“No, no, I was just...pointing it out, I guess.”

Eiji nodded and smiled, using his hand to brush away some hair and taking the towel off from Ash. “I um, heard you whining in your sleep as night, you said you didn’t have a nightmare, so I wasn’t sure why. If um, if that happens again, do you want me to come in and wake you up?” 

“I was whining?”

“It wasn’t exactly crying, it was like…” Eiji cracked a smile, clearly thinking about recreating the sound himself, “It sounded like you were in pain.”

Ash nodded, processing what Eiji was saying, “Yeah, try to wake me up and see what happens. I don’t remember having a nightmare, but...most people don’t remember having dreams.” 

Eiji nodded, glancing away from Ash to something past him, probably something out the window. “All right, I also wanted to talk about something else, something you’re not going to like.” 

Ash was confused, “Something I won’t like.” His voice came out angry, which made Eiji slouch a little bit where he was sitting. “Sorry, sorry, I-” He didn’t know what to say.

“Will you try not to get angry?”

Ash nodded, eager for the conversation to be done with, “I will try.” 

Eiji sat there silently for a moment, which only made Ash’s thoughts run wild. Ash noticed that his leg was bouncing, and his stomach was hurting with the anticipation. It was only five seconds of silence, but it felt like a lifetime. 

“I think you should look into therapy.”

“Eiji…” He was so quick to say it, he hadn’t even processed what Eiji was saying. He was just reacting how he does whenever anyone says that word. Therapy. “I-I...no.”

Eiji sighed and nodded his head slightly, “Okay, I just wanted to bring it up to you. If you’re not ready for that then okay, I will patient. I just want you to…” Eiji let out a breath, not a sigh exactly, but something like that, “I just want what’s best for you.” 

I just want what’s best for you. 

~

Eiji is back to being Ibe’s assistant, they’re working for a magazine that Ash was unfamiliar with...but this meant that Eiji would be gone for a few hours on weekdays...leaving Ash by himself. 

Ash found himself just thinking, all the time. Nonstop, thinking. Thankfully though, he thinks mostly about Eiji. 

Eiji is so similar yet so different than he was in America. He’s a lot more relaxed in Japan, clearly feeling at home and comfortable. There isn’t danger around every turn, Ash knows that he knows it for a fact...but that feeling that there is has been instilled in him from such a young age...how do you let that paranoia go?

Ash felt a lot more comfortable when Eiji is home...home. Ash was a little surprised with himself, he feels like the apartment is a home. It’s his and Eiji’s home. 

“Aslan! I’m home.” 

Like a puppy waiting for its master to come home, Ash smiled and got up from the sofa. He noticed a paper bag handing from Eiji’s hand. “What’s that?”

“I got you something to do during the day.” Eiji smiled, handing Ash the bag. 

Looking into the bag, Ash saw a Nintendo Switch box staring back at him. “Oh, Eiji, you didn’t have-”

“I got it for both of us, I hope you know.” Eiji chuckled, “I’ve wanted one for a while, I got all kinds of games for it too!” 

The boys silently set up the switch on their smallish flat-screen TV. The Switch was in Japanese, but Ash told Eiji not to change it, hoping that leaving it in Japanese would encourage him to improve his knowledge of the language. 

Ash was getting better at Japanese, especially because Eiji is such a good teacher. A slow-paced teacher, but a good one none the less. Eiji likes to teach Ash and likes when Ash tries to mimic Eiji’s speaking mannerisms, like his specific accent and the way he enunciates specific words. 

The first game that the boys decided to play was Mario Kart. Either a really good idea or a really bad idea. 

“I’m gonna whoop your butt at this, I hope you know.” Eiji winked at Ash, making Ash’s stomach flip a little bit. 

“Smack talk? I never thought that you were the type.”

“Well, you’re about to learn how competitive I am.”

Eiji is very competitive, Ash learned quickly. Ash also learned that Eiji is a lot better at video games than he is. Ash found himself not able to get too frustrated though, he was too laid back for that. 

The boys truly felt like boys for the first time. Never before have Eiji and Ash been able to just be playful, childish boys with each other. Yeah, they picked on each other and goofed off...but not quite like this. 

Eiji also plays dirty, if he thought he was getting a little to close to losing, Eiji would suddenly poke Ash’s side, tickling him. 

“Cheater!”

“House rules! It’s allowed!” Eiji defended himself. 

Ash responded by throwing his controller to his side and grabbing Eiji’s sides with both hands, causing Eiji to flail his arms, almost throwing the controller.

“Hey! Ash! No!” Eiji laughed, throwing his head back as he laughed. Ash was thankful he was paying close attention, otherwise, Eiji and he would have surely headbutted. 

Ash tickled Eiji for a good couple of minutes before letting go of him. This when Ash noticed the position they were in. Ash was sitting over Eiji, who was lying under him...Eiji noticed too. His face turned red and he broke eye contact with the green-eyes staring at him. 

“Are you…”

“You’re okay.” Eiji was quick to say, “If you are okay, that is…” Eiji reached out, putting his hands over Ash’s shoulders, hovering. “Is this okay?”

Ash nodded, Eiji placed his hands on Ash’s broad shoulders. “Do you want to…” Eiji swallowed, “You can lay down if you want.”

Ash hesitated before he allowed himself to inch closer and closer to Eiji. Their chests touched and Ash couldn’t bring himself to look at Eiji...his fantasy at the front of his mind. Eiji’s hands landed on Ash’s back, moving in comforting, repetitive motions. 

The two of them lay like that for a while. Ash’s cheek on Eiji’s upper chest, Eiji’s hands on Ash’s back, their bodies so close it made their body temperatures rise. Ash could get used to this, it’s so nice...it’s warm and safe. There no cameras, no perverts, no laughing or pain. Just Eiji, and every good thing about him. 

Someone said something to Ash once...about rain and a rainbow. 

~

Ash is aware that he’s sleeping, but he awake. Not able to move, in a dark room, by himself. 

‘Don’t open your eyes.’ Ash told himself. But the sound of a heavy footstep forced him to, it was odd. He could see all angles of the room like he had eyes all over it. That’s when he saw a figure in the doorway, a large man. Tall and fat.   
Ash began to beg for his brain to stop. He can’t do this right now, he’s so tired. He knows it’s not real, but that doesn’t stop it. 

This replay of events is of a specific night, a night that Ash only remembers in his sleep paralysis state. The tall, fat figure is a mixture of all kinds of men, but mainly, it’s Golzine. That’s obvious to Ash. Doesn’t change the burning pain inside of himself. 

“Aslan?” That voice is real, and its wakening. “Aslan, my love?” Eiji’s voice immediately pulls Ash awake, and into a mess of sobs. He can feel Eiji slip into his bed and hold the larger of the two boys. When Ash opened his eyes, for real, it was actually morning. The sun flowed through the glass of the windows and into the room. It stung Ash’s tired eyes. 

“Aslan,” Eiji mumbled, his lips pressed to Ash’s head. 

“I’m-I’m…” Ash tried, but his mouth isn’t working, mainly because he was still uncontrollably crying. This is...embarrassing. 

“Are you okay?”

Ash nodded, feeling his lip quiver. Ash let out a shaken breath, “Can we go in the living room?”

Eiji handed Ash a cup of coffee, grabbing a blanket and putting it over Ash’s shoulders. Eiji sat away from Ash, not knowing what the blond would want right now. They sat in silence while Ash drank a little coffee and tried to get himself to wake up. 

“Thank you.” Ash suddenly said, not looking at Eiji. 

“I heard you whining…”

“I figured.”

“Aslan?”

Ash hummed a response but didn’t say anything. 

“Why won’t you look at me?”

“I don’t know,” Ash answered, glancing up at Eiji...he couldn’t tear his eyes away. Those rich dark chocolate eyes are so captivating, it felt like he was being hypnotized. 

“I just, I was worried I did something to make you uncomfortable.”

“It’s just hard to when I feel this way. I can’t explain it.”

“That’s okay.” Eiji was quick to say. “Aslan?”

“Eiji.” 

“Do you want to talk about it? I don’t like...now, but like ever?” 

Why do people keep asking him this? “I don’t know, this one was um...it’s one I’ve had before, I’m trapped on the bed and um…” Ash cleared his throat as a means to not let himself cry. Eiji was listening very intensely. “It’s weird because it’s just like a feeling, I can ugh, feel it.” 

Eiji nodded, “I understand.” 

“You do?”

“I can try to, I understand what you’re crying, and I’m empathizing with you,” Eiji explained, standing up and sitting next to Ash. He seemed hesitant but was happy to see that Ash was accepting of Eiji sitting with him. “Would sleeping in the same room help?” 

“In the same room.”

“Yeah?”

Ash looked away from Eiji, not wanting to look at him as he asked, “I would be okay sleeping in the same bed...so we don’t have to move a bed or anything.” 

“Okay, we can do that.” 

~

Ash had just gotten out of the bath, and you know how when you get out a bath you need to physically recover? That’s the state Ash is in, laying in a white towel over him on his and Eiji’s shared bed. 

“Aslan, are you out of the bath, oh-” Eiji entered, a little surprised to see Ash just laying on their bed in just a towel. “You look comfortable.” Eiji laughed, holding a laundry basket and approaching the closet. 

Ash chuckled and nodded, watching Eiji put their clean clothes away, “Want me to help you? Toss me some clothes.” After that, a pile of clothes hit Ash in the face. He quickly put the clothes on as Eiji’s back was turned to him. 

Silently, the two of them put away their clean clothes. It was nice, just doing some domestic things. Eiji and Ash hadn’t really talked about their relationship, but it’s obviously more than friends. Eiji kisses Ash’s cheeks and head all the time, they sleep in the same bed and cuddle on the sofa. 

“Aslan, can we have chat?”

“Sure.” They didn’t stop putting the laundry away. 

“I was thinking about us earlier, and what we talked about on the phone when you were in the hospital...about how we have mutual feelings, or how we did at the time and I was just, I don’t know...I guess I was wondering if anything changed.”

Ash looked at Eiji, and shook his head, “Nothing’s changed, I have feelings for you, romantically, if that’s what you mean. I just didn’t know if you had meant it that way...in your letter, you said,” He let out a breath. “A lot.” 

“I did, I was just...telling you what was in my heart.” 

Ash blushed and looked away. 

“I feel for you romantically too...by the way, I kind of just assumed that we were...dating.” Eiji chuckled to himself, “But you’ve never made any kind of move, so I wasn’t sure.”

“Do you want me to make a move?”

“You don’t have to! You can just do your own thing.”

Ash smiled, looking up at Eiji, “I like it when you make the first move…” Ash said honestly, causing Eiji to quickly turn to him. “It makes me feel good.” 

Eiji put the clothes in his hand down and sat on the bed, Ash sat down next to him and they sat there silently for a moment. “Are you...what are you comfortable with?”

Ash shrugged and looked at Eiji, who was already looking at him. “I don’t know, I guess. Let’s just try out stuff and I can tell you if I don’t want to do that.”

Eiji stayed quiet for a while, so long that Ash started to get worried. Sometimes, when they sit quietly like this, it’s nice and comforting...other times it’s the worst thing in the world. Ash could hear his heartbeat in his ears. That went away though when Eiji put his hand on top of Ash’s...just gently placing it there. 

“Can I...um, kiss you?” Eiji asked, red-faced and looking away from Ash, who almost snapped his neck looking up at Eiji.

“On my lips?”

“That’s the idea.” Eiji chuckled, “You can say no, I um...I never want you to feel like you can’t say no, I will never, ever, not in our lifetimes, make you feel like you can’t tell me no.”

Ash reached up and put his hand on Eiji’s cheek, “I know.”

Eiji smiled and the two of them began to lean in...they’ve kissed before, in the prison. It was Eiji’s first kiss! But this one, right here, right now is real and theirs. There no alternative motive behind it, or anything like that...they’re kissing because they want to because they can. 

Eiji stopped right before their lips met like he was asking Ash for even more permission. Ash smiled to himself, closing his eyes all the way and placing his lips onto Eiji’s. At first, nothing happened...not until Ash did something, then Eiji began to get into it. 

The kiss was deep and long but was very different than the one in prison. There was no tongue this time, and it wasn’t invasive for either of them. It’s gentle and loving...it almost made Ash cry. 

Eventually, they had to pull apart from each other. They can’t just kiss forever. As soon as they pulled away, Eiji didn’t hesitate, putting both of his hands onto Ash’s shoulders. “You’re a good kisser,” Eiji said, glowing with his fondness for Ash. 

“You too...for someone who’s barely ever kissed anyone before.” 

To Ash’s surprise, Eiji just leaned forward, wrapping his arms around Ash and hugging him...Ash allowed his eyes to tear up as the two boys just sat there holding each other. 

This what love feels like...he can feel it, in his bloodstream, deep in his bones, in his lungs as he breathes Eiji in. Ash can physically feel the love that Eiji is showing him...and it feels so good. So good it’s overwhelming.


	5. opening up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter does have a little bit of a trigger warning, all the warnings that Banana Fish has...it doesn't get to graphic or anything its just mentions of all the bad things. i also based ash's flashbacks and ptsd episodes off my own, just thought that I would add that little bit of info lol
> 
> thank you so, so, so much for reading!!! let me know if you enjoy :) <3

The smell of cooking Japanese food saturated the apartment. The golden hour sun bled through the windows and into the apartment. Eiji was washing his hands and watching Ash out of the corner of his eye. Ash is sheepishly setting the table, a neutral face on. 

Eiji turned to tend to the food when he knocked a freshly washed glass cup off from the drying rack and onto the ground. Eiji flinched slightly as it hit the ground, right as he bent down to clean the glass up, he heard Ash make a soft gasping sound and looked up at him quickly. 

Eiji had learned Ash’s tell signs very quickly when he’s grown quiet and is quick to snap at others. Ash’s face was frozen, to someone who doesn’t know him he would look emotionless, but Eiji knows that the glass hitting the ground and shattering had triggered flashback for Ash. 

“Aslan.”

Ash just began to slowly curl into himself, crouching down on the ground and putting his head in his hands. “Aslan, hey, hey,” Eiji approached, coming around the corner of the counter so he could get a better look of Ash. He is standing on his feet still but had his knees up to his chest and his hands are covering his face. “Aslan, love, it’s okay...it’s just a broken cup.”

Eiji carefully and slowly put his hand on Ash’s upper back, scared of freaking Ash out. Ash didn’t even seem to notice Eiji, his eyes are wide with fear, tears falling like water from their kitchen faucet. “Aslan...I’m here, I’m right here, I’m not going anywhere, I promise.” 

Ash’s eyes shifted from staring at the ground to look over at Eiji, Ash’s jaw was so tense it was beginning to shake. “I-” Ash broke down into sobs and quickly grabbed Eiji as tightly as he could. 

“Hey, hey, come here.” Eiji somehow moved the distraught blond boy to the sofa, sitting him down, Ash fell into the position that Eiji would never forget...Ash folded his arms on Eiji’s thighs and buried his face in his arms. Eiji tried his best to recreate their position from that night. Placing his hand carefully and gently on Ash’s back. 

Ash’s emotions are floating through the air of the apartment, like a gas leak, Eiji held his breath. Eiji always worries about how he should react to Ash’s episodes, mainly because he doesn’t want Ash to feel bad in any way about them. He has no control over any of this. 

Eiji also worries about Ash’s emotions being ‘contagious’. Meaning that he wants Ash to just feel this out, without Eiji getting triggered himself. Though, in these months of living together in their peace, Eiji knows what their triggers are. 

Ash is triggered by ‘real-world’ things, a glass cup breaking, someone knocking on the door a little too aggressively, people running past him when they go on a walk down the road. While Eiji is triggered by things like gunshots in movies and his bad habit of letting his anxiety spiral out of control. 

Both are valid, that is with no doubt. Their traumas are not a competition. But if it was, Ash would win...Eiji tries not to think like this, but he has a hard time controlling his thoughts these days. 

When Ash lifted his head, his face a little swollen and pink from crying. Ash rubbed his eyes gently and took a breath. “Sorry,”

“Aslan.”

“I know, I know, I just feel bad...is the food okay?”

Eiji nodded, pushing his hair out of the face, which has become a nervous habit of his. “What happened? Was it the glass breaking?”

Ash shrugged and made a face, “The sound was…” Ash shuttered, which made Eiji softly chuckle, “Can the sound of glass breaking be gross?”

Eiji paused to think, “I would describe it as...crude, or like offensive.” Ash said nothing, pushing his long-ish hair behind his ear and chewing on the inside of his cheek, he was thinking about something...actively. “What’son your mind?” 

“The memory that was triggered, flashbacks, as they call them.” He joked, which made Eiji laugh dryly. “When um...Skip was um…” Ash wanted to say it, but couldn’t. 

Eiji nodded and grabbed Ash’s shoulder, “You don’t have to say it.”

“I know…”

They said nothing after that, returning to their quiet and peaceful dinner. Eating somewhat slowly and letting the TV play as a means to drown out the obnoxious silence. Eiji knew that Ash was thinking about something, but Eiji didn’t know what. He could be thinking about how he wants to decorate his Animal Crossing island or about a horrible thing that happened to him on a cold night. The casual expression on his face gave Eiji no answers. 

Eiji shifted his focus onto other things, relaxing for a part of the night. Before bed though, he was putting away from the laundry and had just changed into pajamas. Ash came into the room, starting at Eiji like he was waiting for Eiji to say something first. 

“Aslan?” Eiji hummed, turning to look at Ash head on

“Eiji…”

“Go ahead.”

“What?”

“Say what you need to say, I’ll listen,” Eiji said, sitting on their bed, and patting the bed next to him for Ash to sit down as well. 

Ash anxiously tugged on his hair as he sat down next to Eiji. “I’ve just been thinking about...the videos and pictures of me.”

Eiji almost had an emotional reaction, raising his voice at Ash, but rather he reached up and put his hand on Ash’s shoulder, “Why? Is there something we need to tell Max?”

Ash shook his head a little, barely enough for Eiji to notice, “I’m just worried about the other children’s pictures and videos that were used in the trials...I haven’t looked into it because…” He fell silent, “I’m scared too,” His voice broke just a little. “I was so ready for them to use me,” Eiji hated the way he phrased that, “I didn’t think about those other people who are like me, in my position. Where are they, how are they? Did they end up like me?”

“Like you?”

Ash broke eye contact and anxiously tugged on his hair some more. “I feel guilty.”

“Guilty that their pictures have to be used instead of yours?” 

Ash nodded once, looking back up at Eiji. 

“You...you never told me what happened.” Eiji expressed anxiously, “You don’t have to but-”

“Max um, he destroyed them. He had said ugh, ‘don’t let them control you anymore’ or something like that.” Ash cracked a grateful smile. “I don’t know how to feel about it, I feel guilty and grateful at the same time. It’s that bullshit saying about two wolves or something like that.” Eiji just listened, this is the most Ash has ever rambled on about things of this nature. Ash doesn’t open up, mainly because he doesn’t have to...Eiji won’t make him. Ash trust in that, he falls back on it. “When he had um, lit them on fire. A part of myself died, and a part of me came alive.” 

Eiji’s heart dropped into his stomach. ‘A part of myself died, and part of me came alive.’ Eiji swallowed, watching as Ash blinked aimlessly. “The part of you that died...was it a good part, or a bad part?” 

“I don’t think it’s that black and white…” Eiji nodded, understanding. “It’s a part of myself that I needed, and when those things died, it only makes sense that it died with them.” Ash’s mouth is so dry. “It doesn’t make sense.”

“But it does,” Eiji argued. “It makes perfect sense, love.” 

Ash quickly looked at Eiji, eyes wide, “What did you just call me?”

Eiji blinked at Ash, not knowing what he meant, “Love?” 

“You’ve never called me that before.”

“I call you that all the time!” Eiji shouted playfully, shoving the other boy away from him. 

“No, no you do not, I would have noticed.”

“Good to know you never pay any attention to me!” 

They two boys continued to playfully bicker...leaving the things that don’t need to be thought about right now behind...


	6. I’m not alone. You’re by my side. Your soul is always with me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really struggled with writing this boy which is why it took a little longer to get this chapter out than my other ones...i really hope you enjoy it :)

Eiji smiled to himself, finishing wrapping his gift for Ash. A part of him felt like Ash wouldn’t quite understand the gift, but Eiji was perfectly okay with that. Ash doesn’t have to understand, or even like the gift...but Eiji wanted to give this to Ash.

It’s their official one year anniversary of being in a real romantic relationship. February 14th, that wasn’t on purpose. 

Eiji got home from work, to find that Ash was making dinner. “Oh!” Eiji reacted surprised, “What are you making?” 

Ash smiled, “Spaghetti, I’ve heard it’s a romantic dinner.” 

Eiji chuckled, “You’ve heard?”

Ash shrugged but didn’t say anything. 

The view Eiji has of Ash isn’t like any other he’s had. Ash is in gym shorts and tube socks, a lose dark tanktop hung over his thickened frame. Ash had built up fat rather than muscle over the last two years he’s been in Japan...probably because he doesn’t work out, or is as physically active as he used to be. 

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.”

“Huh?” Eiji didn’t know what Ash meant by that.

“It’s an expression, maybe an idiom…” Ash took in a breath and smiled up at Eiji, “When someone stares at you, that’s what you say to them.” 

Eiji raised his camera and waited for Ash to yell at him. The no never came though, as Eiji clicked the camera, he watched Ash keep smiling for the camera. When Eiji put the camera back down, he looked up at Ash, who wasn’t looking back at him. 

Nothing needs to be said. 

Eiji cleaned up his camera lens and organized his camera bag as Ash cooked their dinner for that night. The boys would talk about little things every few minutes or so, but never really got into much of a conversation.

Dinner was spent playfully flirting and recreating that scene from a Disney movie about dogs. Eiji didn’t remember the name for it, a little distracted as Ash kept sneaking kisses as they tried to eat the spaghetti noodle. 

Finally, dinner was done with and the boys were ready to present each other with their gifts. Eiji walked into their room and grabbed his gift from the bottom drawer of his nightstand, entering the living room, he found Ash staring at a piece of paper. 

“Ready?” Eiji asked in a whisper. 

Ash nodded and reached his hand out to Eiji. Eiji approached slowly, grabbing Ash’s hand and sitting on the floor with him. They sat in the small space between the sofa and the coffee table. 

Eiji examined the neatly wrapped gift in his hands before he offered it to Ash, who quickly traded with Eiji. Eiji placed the paper to the side and watched Ash.

“Have you ever gotten a gift like this before?”

“Not wrapped in a box, not since I was a little kid,” Ash answered honestly, trying to carefully unwrap the gift. 

When the wrapping paper came off the box, Ash opened it a little quicker now...his facial expression didn’t change from curiosity as he reached into the small box and began to pull out the canvases. 

On the three canvases were photographs that Ash didn’t know existed up until this moment. He stopped on the last one though. 

The first canvas is of the day that Eiji and Ash met, Eiji and Ibe had accidentally gotten a shot of Ash and Skip talking...you could only see a fraction of Ash’s face, but you could see Skip plain as day, a giant smile on his face. 

The second canvas is of Eiji, Shorter, and Ash. In Cap Code, standing in the long grass that looked over the ocean. You couldn’t see Ash’s face at all, his back turned to whoever took the photo (Ibe) but Eiji and Shorter were both facing them, smiling and waving. 

The third one is just Ash and Eiji...in the apartment. Eiji had taken the photo, he had sneakily set up the camera without Ash’s knowledge and put it on a one-minute timer. In this one, Eiji and Ash are on full display, laughing with expressive faces. Ash’s hand on Eiji’s shoulder as he laughed. Sitting on a white sofa with a bookshelf behind them. It looked staged, but they were in their truest states at this moment. 

“Eiji,”

“I know you don’t like having your picture taken-” Eiji was unexpectedly pulled into a hug. The position of the hug wasn’t ideal, but Ash was holding Eiji with a lot of might. 

“I didn’t think I’d ever see their faces again,” Ash said, his voice being quite the tell that he’s crying. Eiji let Ash exist like this, holding Eiji in an uncomfortable position and cry quietly to himself. When Ash let go, he whipped his face and took a breath. “Thank you.” 

“You’re welcome,” Eiji took the opportunity to steal a kiss fro Ash, which made his laugh and playfully shove Eiji away from him. 

Eiji had almost forgotten about the paper lied next to him, Ash reached out and picked it up. Ash looked over the paper before he offered it to Eiji, “This better make you cry, or I’m gonna be so pissed.” 

Eiji chuckled and turned the paper so he could look at what’s on it...his smile faded naturally as he began to read the words presented before him. 

Eiji,  
I hope you don’t worry about me anymore.  
I’m doing well. 

I’m overjoyed that I came to Japan.  
Everything here is exactly what I needed. You’re here. 

I’m not scared anymore. Not of anything. Not of myself.   
My wounds are healing, and it feels so damn good. 

I wanted to thank you. Back then, two years that now feel like a lifetime ago…  
You protected me, but not from what you wanted to protect me from. 

If you had protected me from fate, I don’t think we’d be here today.   
I wouldn’t be in Japan, sleeping in our bed together every night. Bickering like Max and Jessica. 

For everything you’ve done for me...our of nothing but love and selflessness...I would do anything to return the favor. 

I’m not alone. You’re by my side.  
Your soul is always with me.

\- Aslan Cullenreese

Ash nervously watched Eiji read his letter...hsi response to the letter that’s in a ziplock baggie in his nightstand drawer, his blood smeared on the white paper. When Eiji looked up, he took in a breath and began to let himself tear up. 

“Aslan…”

“Don’t say anything, we’ve said everything that’s needed to be said.”

“Aslan,” Ash waited a moment, letting Eiji sit silently. Mulling over what he had just read, “I love you.” Were the only words he could respond with. 

Ash fell silent, and Eiji almost worried that he scared Ash, or stepped out of line...but Ash slowly smiled, “You love me?”

“So much.”

“I love you too...I know that seems obvious...but I love you a lot, Eiji.” Ash began to tear up again. 

“Aslan…” Eiji reached his hand out, grabbing Ash’s hand in his...they sat there like that for a moment. “You are so, so, so loved. I love you, and so do so many people.” 

Ash rolled his eyes. 

“I know,” Eiji assured, “I love you.”

“I feel like that’s the only thing we’re gonna say to each other now.” 

“I love you, Love.” 

“Stop it!” Ash laughed, “I love you too...I don’t have a cute nickname for you.” 

“Give me one.”

Ash fell silent with thought, looking at Eiji like staring at Eiji’s face would give him the answer. Eiji looked away for a second, before looking back at Ash who was smiling now. “What?” Ash asked. 

“Take a picture.”

Ash busted out laughing, “That’s right!” 

The two boys laughed for a bit when they finally fell silent again, Ash leaned forward...asking for a kiss. They began to kiss, it was a bit too hot and heavy for either of this taste after kissing for a while. 

When they pulled away, Eiji was blushing and Ash was smiling at Eiji. “What?” Eiji asked, a more serious tone in his voice. 

“Birdie.” 

“Birdie?”

Ash chuckled a little, “Sounds funny in your accent…” He reached out and grabbed Eiji, pulling him closer to each other. “Thats what I’m gonna call you, Birdie.” 

“All right, Love...you can call me Birdie.”

“I will.” 

Eiji chuckled and kissed Ash on the cheek, “Wanna go watch a movie?”

Ash didn’t say anything, he just stood up and grabbed Eiji’s hand to help him stand up. They made their way to their bedroom and changed into pajamas. They struggled to decide on a movie at first before they finally decided to watch a romantic comedy. One that would be entertaining, but they wouldn’t have to pay attention to it to enjoy it. 

Love. It’s in everything, naturally. It’s the most important thing in the world, in the universe. Love is something that humans need above all else...and when you go too long without it, reality starts to seem skewed. It’s deranged, hate-filled, and corrupt. 

When Love comes to you again though, after all the darkness, it’s confusing and scary...is it going to hurt you? Is it a trick? 

It’s not. Not in the case of Eiji and Ash. It’s all Love. In it’s purest form...if Love could be concentrated to it’s truest, rawest form...it would be this. 

It’s what Ash and Eiji share. Love.


End file.
